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Should I Choose Adoption for My Baby?

Choosing adoption is a monumental decision for any expectant mother. It is a decision that takes courage, strength and selflessness, but most of all, love. That being said, the choice to place your child for adoption should not be made lightly or without considering every alternative.

If you know you aren’t ready to parent and are trying to decide between adoption and abortion, you’ve likely come across countless articles that were trying to sway your opinion one way or another. Adoption Answers doesn’t want to inundate you with yet another article telling you that adoption is always the best answer – because sometimes, it’s not. Instead, we’ve compiled a simple list of the pros and cons of adoption so that you can be fully informed when making your decision.

Pros

  • By choosing adoption you will be blessing a family with the beautiful gift of a child. Without adoption, some families would not be able to have children at all. You are a true miracle to these families.
  • You will get to know how your child is doing. Instead of spending time wondering what your child could have been, you will be able to see who your child is and watch them grow into their own character. This is often a source of comfort and healing for birth mothers who are working to move past their adoption.
  • You will gain an extended family through your child’s adoptive family. Through open adoption, many birth families and adoptive families form strong bonds of love and respect. The adoptive family will be forever connected to you, and you will be forever connected to them.
  • You can pursue your educational or career goals and dreams without also worrying about taking care of a child.
  • Healing will be made easier. When a birth mother can see her child happy and well-cared for, she can begin to accept that this was the best decision for both her and her child. There will also be support given by your adoption specialist who can help you through any rough patches.

Cons

  • During your nine months of pregnancy, you will likely feel connected to your child and form a motherly bond with him or her. This can make it difficult to let go and place the child with an adoptive family, even if you know it is the right choice.
  • The grieving process is not easy. Many birth mothers experience feelings of guilt, shame and depression after placing their children for adoption. It can take months or years for you to conquer these feelings and move past the pain.
  • Family and friends may not understand your decision. It can be hard for those outside the situation to imagine how you could make this decision, which can sometimes lead to insensitive comments or even anger.

While it’s true that there are many benefits of adoption, it is not a one-size-fits-all option. Depending on your particular circumstances, an abortion may be the best option for you. Whether you choose abortion, adoption or even parenting, it’s important that you go with the decision that you feel is best for you and your child. Listen to your heart, it’s almost never wrong.