Is It Wrong to Put My Baby Up for Adoption?

As an expectant mother, you want to do what’s best for your child. Even if adoption is that path, a few concerns might be holding you back:

Is it wrong to “give your child up” for adoption?
Is it bad to “give your baby up” for adoption?
Is “giving my baby up” for adoption selfish?
Does placing my child for adoption make me a bad parent?

The answer to all these questions is no. When done right, placing a child for adoption can be a beautiful, selfless choice.

Adoption Answers, Inc., will be there for you every step of the way. As your adoption agency, we will empower you and help you find the joy in your adoption experience. When you make an adoption plan with our help, putting your child up for adoption is never wrong. Instead, it’s a journey showing how strong the love of a mother can really be.

You can learn more about this process by contacting us anytime. In the meantime, we’ve answered your biggest questions about the ethics of adoption below.

Q: Is putting your child up for adoption wrong?

A: No. Adoption is a blessing and an act of love.

There are many misconceptions about adoption. But the fact is that it cannot be wrong to put your baby up for adoption — because adoption is a representation of God’s love itself:

“In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” — Ephesians 1:5

As a Christian agency, we believe in adoption as part of God’s plan. You may think the same, too. When you place your child for adoption, you show love and courage. You choose to give your child a life of love and opportunity with parents of your choosing.

You also choose to show yourself grace. Your pregnancy may have been unplanned, but it doesn’t define you. You can use your situation to help someone else, and you can move forward with a new sense of gratitude and joy for the love that God has put in your life.

Q: What’s bad about giving a child up for adoption?

A: Nothing, if you seriously consider the benefits of placing a child for adoption.

This fear about adoption may come from that very phrasing: “giving up for adoption.” While it’s a common phrase used by those unfamiliar with the process, it doesn’t accurately represent the love and beauty of adoption.

When you choose adoption, you are not “giving up” or “giving away” your child. You are making the brave choice to give your child the life you want them to have, including:

Two parents who share your faith and will raise your child with love and grace
Opportunities (education, extracurriculars, etc.) that you might not be able to provide
A genuine, lifelong relationship with you through open adoption contact
And more

Learn more about these benefits by contacting an adoption social worker.

Simply put, giving your baby up for adoption is not wrong. It’s taking a less-than-ideal situation and finding the positives. After all, as Psalm 127 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord.”

Your unborn child is a gift. By placing them for adoption with a waiting couple, you can provide the future you want them to have. You also give yourself the space to move forward with your own life goals, knowing you made the best choice you could in your situation.

And Adoption Answers, Inc., will be there for you every step of the way.

Q: Is it selfish to give my child up for adoption?

A: No. Placing a child could be the most selfless thing you ever do.

When you place a child for adoption, you put their own interest ahead of yours. It’s one of the most selfless decisions you could ever make.

Choosing adoption helps make someone else’s dreams come true, but it can also propel you toward the dreams you had for yourself. Fortunately, you can stay in contact with your child through open adoption. You also get to choose the parents you want to adopt your child.

In short, you decide the life you want for your child — even if it’s not with you.

Placing your child is not a selfish decision that you make quickly. It’s one that many prospective birth parents consider for months before they’re sure it’s right for them.

When you think long and hard about your decision, adoption is never selfish.

Q: Is giving your child up for adoption cowardly?

A: No. Choosing adoption requires bravery and strength.

It takes a brave woman to recognize that she wants more for her child than she can currently give. Maybe you’re already raising a child, or you’re not financially prepared to give your child the opportunities you want for them. Not everyone can admit they aren’t ready to be a parent to their unborn child.

It’s incredibly selfless to “give a child up” for adoption. When you choose this path, you make the active choice to plan for a different future that you originally imagined. It hurts to let go of those dreams, and there will be difficult moments in your adoption plan. Knowing those challenges lie ahead — and still deciding to choose adoption — shows great strength and bravery.

Adoption Answers, Inc., is here to make those difficult moments as easy as possible. We’ll provide the counseling and support you deserve. We’ll also take care of all the complicated details in your adoption plan. That way, you can focus on making the best choice for you and your baby.

How Adoption Answers, Inc. Can Guide You Through This Process

Here at Adoption Answers, Inc., we will support you through every step of your adoption journey. As Matthew 7:7-8 says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

We would be honored to guide you through your personal adoption experience. We are here to answer every question you have about adoption. We’ll help you make an adoption plan for your needs and preferences. And, if you ultimately decide that putting a baby up for adoption is a bad idea for you, we will support your decision and respect your right to change your mind.

For free, no-obligation adoption counseling, please call us at 1-800-659-7541 or contact us online anytime.

Remember: “Giving your baby up” for adoption is not wrong. With our agency’s help, it could be the best decision you’ve ever made.