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Dealing with an Unplanned Pregnancy: Answers, Advice and Resources

Dealing with an unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming to say the least. You may not know what to do, who to turn to, or what your options are. That is where we come in.

Adoption Answers strives to provide you with the help you need to make the best decisions for you and your unborn child. We want to help you figure out how to accept an unplanned pregnancy, and what to do next.

We’ve compiled the best unplanned pregnancy advice to help you through this difficult time. Information on everything from accepting your pregnancy, to finding support, to getting rid of an unwanted pregnancy can be found here.

Accepting Your Feelings

Learning of an unplanned pregnancy can give rise to many different emotions: fear, anger, denial, confusion, stress, or even joy. You may feel all of these emotions at once or you may be on a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from ecstatic to terrified – you can thank the hormones for that.

What’s important to realize is that there is no right or wrong way to feel about an unplanned pregnancy. A mix of emotions is completely normal, and healthy, and they will help you decide what to do next. So, embrace your emotions and let them guide you; this is your motherly instinct kicking in (yes, it really does happen that quickly).

Finding Support

Friends and family can be a great source of strength when you are dealing with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. You can find support from:

  • Family – Your family always has your best interest at heart, but they may be a little shell-shocked by the news. Give them time to process the information and let them know how much their support means to you during this time. A little bit of comfort from a close family member can do a lot to ease your fears.
  • Friends – Your closest friends have always been there to help you through tough times, so why should this be any different? Friends are great at helping you see the big picture, providing temporary distractions, and offering a shoulder to cry on.
  • The Father – Depending on your relationship with the father, he may be able to help support you through this decision. Keep his feelings in mind as you consider your options and decide whether you will be doing this together or on your own.
  • Unplanned Pregnancy Support Groups – There are plenty of online support groups out there available for women in your position, and there may even be a local group in your community.
  • Unplanned Pregnancy Hotline – Adoption Answers can connect you to a 24-hour support line where you will be able to speak with a social worker about all of your questions and concerns. He or she can provide plenty of support to you whenever you need.

Unfortunately, no matter what you decide to do, there will be someone who is unsupportive and who says negative things to you. It is perfectly acceptable for you to distance yourself from these people. The only people who should be involved in your pregnancy and your decision are those who care about your wellbeing and who won’t judge you or try to push you toward a certain path.

Consider Your Options

Abortion

For many women in your position (and maybe even you) their first reaction to the news of their pregnancy is “How do I get rid of an unwanted pregnancy?” If you know you can’t go through a pregnancy at this point in your life, then an abortion may be the right choice for you.

Maybe you don’t want your friends and family to know of your pregnancy, maybe you’re simply not ready to put your body through a pregnancy. Whatever your reasoning, you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about choosing abortion over parenting or adoption. Despite the negative stigma that often surrounds abortion, 3 out of 10 women have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old.

While abortion may be the best decision for some women, it is important that you consider the emotional ramifications that accompany an abortion. Even when you are very early in your pregnancy, you may have some emotional attachments to your unborn child. These emotions can be difficult to process after an abortion, especially when you’re choosing to do this on your own.

If abortion is the route you choose, find a reliable friend or family member who is supportive of your decision and who can offer a shoulder to cry on if necessary.

Women Who Choose Abortion

  • Women who don’t want to go through the physical demands of pregnancy
  • Women who don’t want others to find out about their pregnancy
  • Women whose careers would be hindered by a pregnancy
  • Women who have access to safe abortion procedures

Resources

Adoption

Adoption is a wonderful option that many women choose for their children. It is a way for you to not only provide your child with the best life possible, but to provide a couple with a child to love.

More than 110,000 children are adopted in the U.S. each year, and it is estimated that 9 out of 10 adoptions are at least semi-open in nature. This means that 9 out of 10 birth parents maintain some form of contact with their child and the adoptive parents. This is wonderful news if you are worried about not being able to see your child grow or know how he or she is doing.

Placing a child for adoption takes immense amounts of courage, strength and love for your child. It is not always an easy decision to make, but it is one that is always made with the best interest of the child at heart.

If you are considering adoption for your child we can help you through each step of the process; from choosing an adoption professional to providing support after placement. To learn more about the adoption process please call us anytime at 972-897-6479.

Women Who Choose Adoption

  • Women who would like to help a family that is unable to have children on their own
  • Women who don’t have the means to raise their children but know they will be able to have contact with their child through open adoption if they want
  • Women who want to continue to pursue their educational or career goals without the added stress of raising a child
  • Women who want to provide their child with a better life than they can give them

Resources

Parenting

For some women, an unplanned pregnancy may be met with excitement (along with a healthy dose of fear). These women often have always dreamt of having a child, and while now might not be an ideal time to add a child to their family, they are happy to have new life growing inside them.

However, even if you are excited about having a child, in order to parent the child you should also be prepared financially and emotionally to do so. If you are considering parenting your child here are a few questions you should ask yourself:

  • Am a mature enough to be a mother?
  • Do I have a stable source of income?
  • Will my finances remain stable throughout my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum period?
  • Can I afford the cost of rent, diapers, formula, clothing, and daycare?
  • Do I live in a safe environment to raise a child?
  • Do I have support from friends or family who will help if needed?
  • Will I be able to provide my child with everything he or she needs to live a happy and healthy life?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you may want to reconsider your decision to parent. Parenting is not easy, even when you are fully prepared, so it’s important to consider every aspect of parenting before making your decision.

Women Who Choose to Parent

  • Women who feel they are financially and emotionally prepared to raise a child
  • Women who have the desire to parent a child
  • Women who have support from family, friends and/or the child’s father

Resources

Your Pregnancy and You

If you are choosing to continue your pregnancy, the best thing you can do to ensure a healthy delivery and baby is to take care of yourself first.

The first thing you should do is set up a prenatal visit with your OBGYN. He or she will be able to monitor you and your child throughout the pregnancy to ensure you both remain healthy. They will also be able to answer any questions you may have about your pregnancy.

Until you can get in to see a doctor, here are a few basic tips for a healthy and happy pregnancy:

  • Avoid drugs or alcohol as they can have negative effects on baby
  • Avoid undercooked meats and fish
  • Drink plenty of water (eight glasses or more every day)
  • Get plenty of sleep (pregnancy makes you tired, so take a nap if you can)
  • Eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies
  • Start taking prenatal vitamins (any brand from your local pharmacy will do)
  • Enjoy your pregnancy!

If you are concerned about managing your finance during this time there are several resources available to pregnant women and new moms that may be able to help: